Whiny emo.

11:42 PM

So once again, I spent the weekend doing nothing but processing oxygen into carbon dioxide and turning food into waste (more like wasted energy and fats). Not that I'm complaining. However, Jenny is back from UK! So I will be meeting up with her soon. THUS, I at least have SOMETHING to look forward to this week. As pathetic as that sounds. I am in desperate need of a friend, and I'm really glad one has arrived, ready to spend time with me.

I finished that book 'Before I fall' over the weekend and it seriously dealt some damage to my emotional stability towards the end of my weekend. I was so distraught aft reading it, I couldn't even pick up the next book 'cos I was so preoccupied with thoughts. I couldn't even do anything else except emo around at tumblr, which is the only place acceptable to be emo, without looking TOO poser. Haha! The last chapter and the epilogue hit me HARD and I was literally breathless and I could FEEL my throat choke up and tighten. THAT is a BAD SIGN. 'Cos that means I'm not just gonna tear up, but I'm gonna freakin' bawl my eyes out. Usually when I tear up a little, my nose would just feel tingly and my eyes would water abit. Nothing too drastic. But when I feel my throat tighten or choke up without warning and my eyes start to prickle, THAT IS IT, MAN. Bring on the waterworks. And I cannot control this one. Not like tears that I can hold back. Then my breathing becomes all weird as well. THANK GOD, I was at home. STUPID BOOK. Screwed up my Sunday. UGH.

First of all, I dun even LIKE the main character. I DETESTED her to the core, I dunno why I even feel sorry for her at the end. And then the stupid phrases in the epilogue somehow struck a cord in my heart and made me feel SO EXTREMELY sad. And made me think about my life and how much I would change of my life if I could. DAMN YOU BOOK! You made me REFLECT on my life! Like some psychotherapy session, only without the pills afterward to make me feel better about everything at the end of it.

It was a really good book though. Really hard to get through, but once you do, the words just stick to you like GLUE. Can't shake those things off. It's kinda depressing.

I dun have much going on. So I regret to continue blabbing about books again. I swear, no one reads my blog anw. As in, no one PROPERLY reads it. So I guess, it's okay that I indulge in the only thing that is filling up my life right now. I'm on to my next one. Actually, I'm kinda halfway through it already. It's the sequel to 'If I stay', titled 'Where she Went' by Gayle Forman. It's from the boyfriend, Adam's point-of-view. And I thought that would be a good thing. BOY, am I wrong. Adam CHANGED totally. Like Stephen did in 'Until You', which made me kinda hate that book. Adam changed from being a passionate, romantic, understanding boyfriend to this WHINY, prissy, WHINY, WHINY, self-pitying, self-loathing, pill-popping, WHINY rock star. He whines & complains in melodramatic fashion, being SO effing emo. It's an emo that even I cannot stand. And I am a little bit of a emo myself sometimes. So that is just saying smth. I caught myself rolling my eyes billions of times at him. This dude, seriously needs to grab a hold of his balls before it shrinks down to NOTHING. He's really pathetic, in an unsympathetic way. I can't feel sorry for him 'cos he keeps feeling sorry for himself. It's super annoying. But as usual, I'm sticking it out. I'm already halfway anyway. So might as well.

Who knows? He might change or the ending might be really good. The book got great reviews anyway, so it's worth finding out.

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