Before I fall.

11:42 PM

Before I FallBefore I Fall by Lauren Oliver

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

rating: 4 stars

I just finished reading this book and it left me feeling extremely disoriented and sort of grasping at the random thoughts that flooded my brain after flipping the last page of the epilogue. There was no real closing or finality to it. No huge questions were answered either. Like why she was reliving the last day of her life over and over again. Is she really dead? Is she in a limbo between life and death? Was there some sort of mission she had to fulfill? It left me screaming, wanting to know what the hell is going on here.

But I guess that's the beauty of this book and why I think it surpasses the usual Young Adult genre that we are all so used to. First and foremost, it is beautifully written. There are many phrases and paragraphs in this book that I read again and again 'cos they took my breath away. There was so much depth to it. Secondly, it reflects so clearly the horrors of reality and the problems people face, regardless of age.

I do admit that I had a hard time getting through the first half of the book. Not because it was badly written or anyth, it was simply 'cos I hated the Sam (the protagonist). GOD, I HATED HER so much and I hated her and all her horrible friends and all the awful things she did. So much so that I felt as if I couldn't care LESS what happened to her or whether she died. Thinking, the world is better off without another superficial bitch. HOWEVER, if you do stick it out till the end, I promise you, it will be worth it.

Despite her flaws, I can somehow connect with her through her journey and I can see how she changed and how she is trying to set things right again. As she changes, my opinion of her changed as well. This book will leave you thinking about a million things all at once. At least for me it did. How one small act can change the course of an entire day and that day can change the course of your entire future. Not just your future but the people around you as well and how we are all like cosmic particles that bounces of one another, feeding off of each other's energy. Our life not entirely dependent on our decisions but other's as well. And then I think, how lucky Sam was to have at least Kent, who loved her for who she was and how sad it was that she only realized it when it was too late. And at the end, I question if those moments she had with Kent, those meaningful moments where they finally kissed. I wondered if they even happened in reality. How sad would it be if her moment of true love was a fabrication of this space between life and death.

I highly recommend this. It helps you set your life into perspective. And left me pondering for hours.

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