So, people, I am alive.

Friday came and went in a total BLUR. It was so fast, I couldn't even feel the effects and to be honest it hasn't really sunk in that I've gotten my A'level results and that I have to move on with life. All the events that led to me taking my results all gave me the certainty that I will fail. First, I found out from the overall review thing that my school did that only 87% passed all 3 H2 and GP. I was like SHIT. And then I found out that the passing rate for Geography is the lowest it has been in the past few years. Then, the usual top students and honour roll student from the arts stream did not go up in the honour roll list this time. I was certain, if these people who are usually on top didn't do as well as expected, then it would be FAR worse for me, right? I mean, I am way below them. And then I saw many people I know with less than satisfactory results. PLUS, I saw that my name was highlighted in the class list. I thought for SURE it would because they wanted me to U-turn or smth.

So, basically, I was absolutely certain that I will get a U-grade for my A'levels.

I was so scared I refused to see it. I looked up at the ceiling as my teacher gave me the slip of paper and slipped it in my bag immediately. I REFUSED TO LOOK AT IT, especially when everyone was around. But I couldn't do it at home either 'cos my parents and sis would be hovering around me. I had to do it like at a more secluded section of the Bishan Mrt station with Nabihah by my side.

I am now convinced that expecting the absolute worst. Like GENUINELY expecting the worst without even subconciously hoping that it will be okay is the BEST way to face the situation. I was SO CONVINCED that I would fail that the moment I saw that I didn't, the ABSOLUTE JOY and happiness I felt was EQUIVALENT to someone getting straight As.

But then I realized that maybe my average results can't really get me to the course that I wanted. That's when the happiness fades into worry. I worried like CRAP and then I started to think my results sucked eggs. But after talking with Wan Qian who is in NUS and also afew of my other JC friends, I think my results are average and maybe average is good enough.

I will just try. You may never know.

But I'm really grateful (like THANK GOD) for my results. They are better than my initial thoughts of failure. So thank you, God!

I visited Shan at her workplace at OiO, vivo city. OMG, the frozen yogurt there ROCKS. Like seriously. DAMN GOOD!! It's the best I've tasted so far. Better than Yami Yogurt, which btw, are like the stingiest people ever. That day was pretty good too 'cos I went into F21, which btw, is a CURSED place. You can NEVER EVER go in there and leave without buying anything. I always end up buying smth or finding smth I wanna buy. It's so AMAZING that place, really. I bought myself my first ever pair of skinny jeans from there. I have NEVER EVER owned on ein my life. Simply 'cos they make me look hideous. Like UGH-ly. But I really liked the ripped denim thing and I thought they would go well with boots. So I just chose a dark colour.

SO CHEAP.

I have to stop shopping though now. FOR REAL. I have to stop spending all my money since I'm not working anymore. NO MORE SPENDING!