Short Piece

9:56 PM

I know that it's been I think like a trillion months since I last updated. But I have to apologize since my com has not been co-operating with me. Right now I can only afford a short piece. I hope I'll be getting my new computer soon. Then, I'll be back online.

Right now, my mind has been filled with thoughts of the future and what it'll hold for me. It's so annoying. I hate thinking about the future since I have always been a 'now' kind of person. But my mum has been harping on it. Like constantly. On and on and on... The worst part of it all, once I've decided something, just because it was not what my mum intended for me to do, she immediately shoots down my plans. That I think, is one of the most annoying and sickening thing about parents. They plan your whole life and never stop once to think about how you might feel. I can't believe how infuriated I got when my mom totally disregarded my plans and what I'd love to do in the future. Isn't it my life in the first place? I can't help it if that is what my heart is set upon. Does it matter if it isn't what they'd hope their first born would do? Is it wrong for my to have a mind of my own and pursue my own dreams? I don't get why my mum doesn't get that. After telling her what I wanted to study in university, she totally shot down the idea like BANG! IMMEDIATELY. Without even another moment of thought. It annoyed me.

What annoyed me the most was that I had expected such a reaction. It sucks when I'm living out a life that my parents planned out for me. I mean, it's not like I told them I was gay. Or I told them that I wanted to become a singer in a bar (which I secretly think is totally cool). Or I wanted to be a hot shot hollywood celeb. What I wanted to do is totally feasible and practical and it was still what I loved to do. So what if I'm not becoming the lawyer they dreamed of me to become. I don't mind them being disappointed slightly, but don't push your dreams on me. Please.

And if my heart doesn't lie here in Singapore, then that is just how I feel. Just TRY to understand at least. That was all I'm asking. I'm writing this down so that one day when I'm a parent, and I happen to chance upon one of my ancient blogposts, I'll remember to be supportive of my child no matter what he/she wants to do. I'll let him/her make his/her own mistakes and wipe their tears until they learn. I'll trust them enough to make their own decisions. Let them lead a life that they had always dreamed off.

That's all.

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