Miss Understood (NOT)

2:52 PM

I know, I know. It's been like forever since I've updated my blog. But I've been kinda caught up with everything that has gone on with my life and I'm just trying to adapt and get used to things. I mean, after three months of having a holiday from life and reality, it's pretty hard for me to get used to going to school again. Anyway, I'm not gonna preach about school here. 'Cos there's a place for all those negetiv thoughts and that's either at the back of my subconcious mind or my diary. My blog isn't gonna be drowned with emo things any more (at least, I'll try not to). 'Cos there are many things in life that are just so funny and much more worth to talk about.

Like situations where you simply misunderstand what people say. I know that sometimes it really isn't funny and misunderstandings can cause alot of hurt and tear relationships apart. But these things happen and we should all learn to laugh at certain hilarious misunderstandings. I'm gonna tell you a couple of SUPER hilarious things that happen to me which I love to think about when I'm alone like on the train or the bus. It kinda makes me smile and giggle abit 'cos it's so stupid, lah. Which I KNOW actually makes ME look stupid 'cos here I am smiling and giggling to myself... Alright, I'm gonna make a mental note to stop giggling to myself while on public transport (or anywhere really).

I'm not gonna name names 'cos then I'll probably humiliate myself AND the person even more. So let's just say that I have this friend called... erm... Let's say her name's Polly. So, everytime I see Polly, she's with this other girl (who is also an older friend of mine) named Patricia. Whenever I see Patricia, Polly's always there with her. And she LOVES to hug Patricia. And praise her and things. Also, Polly never really hangs out with guys. And I've never really heard her compliment a boy before. Everytime I show her a picture of Hayden Christensen or Gerard Way gushing about how HOT they are, she'll be underwhelmed and go like, "Okay, lah. Not my type." So, eventually, my imagination went crazy (blame boredom or reading too many chick lit) and thought that she meant BOYS weren't her type. So one day, I was at Patricia's place and naturally, I saw Polly. Patricia was baby-sitting her neighbour's baby for the afternoon. But Patricia was talking to my mum (who was there) and Polly was taking care of the baby for a while. She was holding it, I mean, her (as in the baby) in her arms. I went to see the baby and cooed at how cute she (again, I mean the baby) was. So, then she looked straight in my eyes, smiled and said, "So do you want a cuddle?". The alarm in my head went off and I started to panic. So, I went, "Oh... I never knew you felt that way towards me." Polly just gave me the most insulted look I've ever seen and practically yelled (if not for the baby), "Not ME, you IDIOT!!! I meant the BABY!!". For a split second, I was felt a rush of relief. Followed closely by supreme and utter humiliation. I just started laughing awkwardly, "Ha-ha-ha! Yeah, I knew that. Joking, lah." Not a very good save, I admit. And I doubt she actually believed me. But she seemed cool with it afterwards, although she still thinks I'm weird. And honestly, I don't blame her. But at least weird is interesting, right? Just say right.

You would think that after such a spectacular humiliation, I would learn to actually LISTEN properly when people are talking. I really do. But this other misunderstanding which occured was TOTALLY NOT my fault. There was music and the dude had an accent. And to be frank, he should've learned his lingo before speaking to Singaporeans. So, here's what happened: I went to my dad's friend's house for his birthday party. There were a bunch of old people and their rich kids hanging around. I was just trying to mingle and appear warm and approachable. The party had a really nice setting (at one of those private houses) and his friend was an ang-moh. So most of the people at the party were either ang-mohs or people with weird accents. The party was pretty dead 'cos most the people there were pretty old. I decided to get a drink while lounging around on the sofa watching cable (the dude's so rich he has ALL the channels!! How AWESOME is that?!) on his HUGE flat screen LCD panasonic TV. There's actually something like a bar table with an ang-moh dude serving some drinks and hor-deurves for the party. (Yes, it was all very classy) I went up to the table and asked politely, "Hi! I was wondering if I could get a drink?". There was some music playing (some unknown jazz and blues tunes) so, I thought he may have a problem hearing me. But that wasn't even the problem. The problem was that this dude was a foreigner and back where he came from, fizzy drinks are called Soda Pops. So, they call them 'Pop' for short. I had NO IDEA. So he answered, "Oh, yeah. I've got some pop at the back if you want?". Obviously, with the music and the accent and the lingo and everything, what I heard was, "Oh, yeah. I've got some POT at the back if you want?" I think I've been watching too much of The OC or something 'cos the first thing that came to my mind was, "Holy shit! Is this guy selling me drugs?! Doesn't he know that it's illegal here? I mean, isn't it ilegal everywhere? Maybe he heard me wrong, "No, I want something to D-R-I-N-K. Do you have anything?". The dude looks at me in curiosity and answers, "Well, if you want, I've got some Coke?". At this point, I think the fumes from the old people's cigarettes must've contaminated my mind. I went in my head, "Now he wants me to take COCAINE?!! I mean, honestly, what is UP with this guy?! And shouldn't my dad's rich friend KNOW that his waiter/bartender is actually some crazy drug trafficking hobo?! And jeez, he isn't being very subtle. I coul easily be a policewoman in disguise. He may never know. He's so unprofessional by just offering his 'goods' to random people like that. Maybe this was how my dad's friend got rich?!". The dude continued, "So, would you like some ICE with that?". I just stared at him. Yeah, I know my drug lingo well. This dude is desperate.

I was slowly backing away from the bar table, saying, "Look, I'm not like that. I just want a drink. Nothing illegal...". The dude looked SO confused by now. So he went, "Oh, is soda pop illegal here?". It then dawned upon me (yes, my brain was operating at my computer speed. Great job, Hanan. You've humiliated yourself yet AGAIN) that the dude was talking about fizzy drinks the WHOLE time!!! Jeez, I have GOT to stop watching all these American drama series. It's seriously screwing up my mind. I just laughed nervously and ordered juice instead.

Wah, damn loser, lah.

Anyway, I thought it was pretty funny how misunderstandings can occur at any time, any place. And we all should just learn to laugh at ourselves once in a while. I hope this entry made you smile (to make up for my long hiatus).

The crazy adventures of Sharifah Hanan will continue and I will be sure to tell y'all all the hilarious and ridiculous things that ALWAYS seem to happen to me.

Have a great week! =)

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