The Dark Post

4:41 PM

I should be under arrest! Anything I say can and will be used in the court of whatever... You get the point! I have been the biggest slacker in the entire universe!!I spent most of my weekend not even touching my homework yet. And right now I feel sooooo guilty. I know that I should be studying like mad for all the tests next week but... Mann! I am just too darn tired to bother right now! Hahaha! And this laziness is amplified ten times with my cold/slight fever/tonsilitis. Sooooo, I think I'll go deal with it later. I'm sure I'll get it done by tomorrow. Most of it, at least.

February is chick flick mania and I am loving it right now. Last night, I watched two chick flicks airing on channel five. Although, my dad kindda ruined the second movie for me and ordered me to go to bed 'cos he wanted to watch some random movie. But still, I got to watch Ewan McGregor... *melts*. I love that guy!!! He's so amazing!

Anyway, I'm having MAJOR panda eyes right now. Simply 'cos I've been having huge troubles sleeping. Don't get me wrong. I don't have any problems getting to sleep. The problem occurs DURING the sleep. I've been having constant nightmares. Constant reoccuring nightmares! And it haunts me all night! And I know where it's coming from. But I dunno how to stop it! Diyanah suggests that I should get a Dream-Catcher. Which come to think of it... Isn't really such a bad idea. It's not like I have any better ideas. Hmm... I sure hope it works though! 'Cos at the rate these nightmares are coming at me. I'm gonna be having Panda Eyes for a loooong, loooong time!

Another random thing. In the spirit of post-christmas and Valentine's Day, I wanna share this video clip with y'all. It's the scene which left me bawling in the couch, with tons of Kleenex. Enjoy, my peeps! =)

It seems like I can never win, can I? No matter how hard I try... How much effort I put in. I put in all my heart and soul into this but I'm not sure I came out tops. Maybe I'll always be second fiddle to you... I'll never come up to your standards. I'll never be as good as that person. I'll NEVER be as good as her! I can't BE her! Can't you see?! And maybe that's not what you want... I don't know. But it certainly feels like it sometimes. Did it occur to you that I may not be as confident as you think I am?? Did it ever occur to you that I may be vulnerable? That I feel insecure...? That I need people's acknowledgement sometimes! And it's your acknowledgement that I need above all... Don't take me for granted... Just don't. 'Cos I never took you for granted. Ever.

I'm sorry. I can't be perfect.

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