The walls came crashing down

4:31 PM

I finally reached the brink today.

With all the stuff going on in my life and the insecurities I've been having, I knew that I was abit messed up inside. But after yesterday, I thought I was better. Then, I woke up this morning to an ever gloomy sky, the rain not stopping, the wind sending chills up and down my spine. My spirit was dampened. But I thought a Sunday trip to the gym will liven things up for me. I needed to sweat away all these bad vibes I've been giving people. And so I got ready for gym this morning. Then, my dad asked me how long I'll be and... Okay, I don't think I should go into detail. The point is that I had this MASSIVE fight with my parents. Everyone was all emotional and yelling and screaming at each other. And usually I'm the type who will be indifferent to all this screaming. I'll be the one who goes, "Ya, okay." But I dunno WHAT came over me! Maybe it's all the emotions that I've been bottling up inside me suddenly gushing out. I couldn't stop myself. I felt as if the walls of the room were closing in on me. I was crying and yelling and everything. And for awhile, I thought that I will never feel happy ever again. It was kindda horrible. I just sat in my room and did my homework quietly, letting my seething insides cool down abit (I couldn't go to the gym in the end) while listening to My Chemical Romance. I let Gerrard's screams drown every other sound around me. I dunno how long I sat there doing my homework, as My Chemical Romance serenaded me. But by the time my mom knocked on my bedroom door, I felt better. Not like a WHOLE lot better, but better all the same.

Turns out, my dad felt bad after the fight. He apologised and treated the whole family to Sakura. He knew that I've been craving for Sakura all this week. And he bought me the 'Hotplate Seafood Rice'. At first, I was abit silent then the hotplate warmed up my insides I was talking and chuckling as per normal. The serving was HUGE, by the way. The waitress just presented me with a MOUNTAIN of fried rice with all these seafood chunks in it. It was literally a MOUNTAIN!! It would take TEN fried rice-eating buffalos to finish up that Hotplate! Somehow I managed to finish it up and felt SO full, I felt like the Fat Aunt from Harry Potter 3! Ew, lah! But still... I felt full and satisfied. My cravings have been put on hold for the moment. I guess all of us was just really tired after the week and took it all out on each other. My sis wasn't part of this at all. She's in primary school after all, so maybe she doesn't know the stress that my mom, dad and I go through everyday. Sure, it's tiring and sometimes you wish that you could just END it all. But it isn't worth it. Just think about all the good stuff you'll be missing.

The point is that after I let everything out, I feel much more at ease now. I'm ready for the week ahead. It's gonna be rough with the mastery tests and all. Still, I have my friends and family to help me get through this. Just like I'll be there for them if they ever need me.

Wooooh, okay! That was my most emo post EVER!! Sorry, but I had to get it off my mind. Anyway, I know that I'm supposed to talk about the CCA Open House and how it went and all but I have yet to receive the pictures from the various people. And trust me, it'll be super, SUPER boring without all the pics. It'll be all my descriptions and stuff. I'm sure a more VISUAL post will be better.

Anyway, Permutations is making my Math periods miserable!! I don't get this whole if you get three apples free after to buy six oranges and two pinapples so, how much... Well, y'all are studying it also, I'm sure you know the WEIRDO questions they ask. With the combinations and... ANYWAY!! I'll grasp it sooner or later. Hopefully.

Soooooooo, I'm done for today. I have to finish up my homework. Good luck next week for all you poeple!

Will the Sun ever shine again...?

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