I am SO disappointed... With many things. I couldn't go for the 2-2 barbeque thingy. I heard it was tons of fun. And I heard Andy brought Meishan. I was like, "Who's Meishan?" I mean, I've heard of her before. I heard she's in choir and all. And I might have met her before... but you know me, right? I'm so absent-minded. I forget people's names and faces sometimes. Not that I'm getting old or whatever. It's definitely NOT an age thing. At least... I hope not!! Speaking of Andy and Meishan, I just saw them in Yishun, today. I went to Little India with Dinah Bee and Mastura. They wanted to go threading. I seriously don't see the need in them to do so. I never notice that Dinah had a moustache. I seriously don't see anything above her mouth. So I always tell her that there was absolutely NO need for her to go for threading but she never listens to me. I always end up going with her. Just to accompany, of course! I've never gone threading before. I don't know how it feels like. Dinah keeps on complaining about how painful it is. It doesn't LOOK painful though. Still, I won't know.

Anyway, I'm digressing here. Ya, I saw Andy and Meishan. I wondered what they were doing there. And so, I have finally found out how Meishan looks like. HAH!! Turns out I recognize her! I didn't know that SHE was Meishan though. Andy was wearing the 2-2 class tee. Goodness! I have never seen him in a non-school tee... EVER!! And the first time during the holidays that I saw him, he was in his (surprise, surprise) 2-2 tee! Haha! It was so funny! I guess he has lots of class spirit.

I found out my class next year. I am SO sure that no one in 2-2 is gonna be in the same class as me. I'm in 3-6. Dinah MZ and Shahidah are in the same class... 3-4. I'm sure they're ecstatic. And they should be. They'll be camping together. Having tons of fun together... Almost like a sleepover! I, however, will be sleeping with people whom I don't know. Okay, scrape that line. Forget I wrote it. I meant I'll be camping with... unknown people. I guess, I'll have to make new friends. Which is all fine-and-dandy to me but I would've really loved it if my girl clan was with me through the whole 'Survivor' thing. I'm not the camp-y type of person. I can't believe that I have to forgo 3 WHOLE DAYS of tv! It's like survivor, only without the million bucks in the end. I know Dinah Bee won't be in my class. I really shouldn't be complaining. If I wanted to be in the same class as my girl clan then I should have submitted the same combo as them, right? So I shouldn't complain. 'Cos it is in fact, my own fault that I am in a totally different class from everybody else. Yes, I was the stupid one who chose Bio because I felt that i could do better in it then Physics. Even if all my friends are taking physics. Even though all the teachers were going on and on about how useless Bio was. Even though I didn't even give physics a try. Yes, I have no one to blame but myself. I listened to my heart and not my brain. And we all know which is the smarter organ, right?! Jeez! I brought this misfortune upon myself. I thought maybe because not many people took my combo (which is combo I) so, maybe they would merge classes, y'know? And I may have at least one or two friends there.

I know everyone's all excited about the sec 3 camp and all. But I'm not exactly all that hyped. It's a shame. I should be SO excited. I should be packing my bags and getting ready for the first day of school. Dinah MZ's really excited about school. She can't wait till school re-opens. And she can't wait for the camp. She even bought a Shoe Bag. I went with her to Northpoint. I was like, "What the hell is a Shoe Bag??" I never even knew such a thing existed in the first place. But apparently, a Shoe Bag actually existed and Dinah bought an Adidas one. I didn't have the money to buy one. And so, I'll probably keep my shoes in a plastic bag or something. Not very glam, I know. But what can I do? The only thing that is making me happy that school re-opens is 1) Meeting my friends, 2) DRAMA!! Can't wait to start work on our new play!... Erm... That's about it I think. I know that I'm definitely NOT looking forward to Additional Math.

Moving on, I'm having quite a hard time preparing my CAP (Creative Arts Programme) portfolio. I may have quite a few poems but I don't have many deep and thoughtful stories. Most of my writing are really relaxed and western. Which makes it really tough for me to write something local. I was thinking maybe I could put in one of blog entries or something. Though, I don't think my entries are very good. They are so... boring. I don't think it'll capture their attention. And I desperately need some ideas to create a really DEEP story. I'm stumped!

The new year's coming soon. I know that many people are looking forward to 2006. School opening and all. I can't share their enthusiasm but I can't wait for the World Cup to arrive!! That's one plus, I guess. Anyway, it's time for some self-reflection and stuff. So, you may want to skip this part if you're not really interested. It may be pretty boring. Here goes...

You know, I feel really ashamed of myself. Well, actually, I am proud to be part of Oi! Sleeping Beauty! and all. But now, I'm just confused. 'Cos I think I have lost my touch in writing. I haven't been writing very much this year. I haven't wrote that many poems either. And they were all part of my new year's resolution this year. It's gonna be the end of this year very soon. I was thinking to myself, "This year, 2005, has taken a surprising twist." I mean, I never expected to be part of such a big production. To be talent-spotted by Shireen for auditions. To be shosen by Ivan Heng. To meet such amazing people. All I wanted (and worked for) was to get Gold in the SYF. Istead, we got Gold with Honours! I just realized that 2005 has been an amazing year for me. It has surpassed my wildest dreams. The year went by quite fast but tons of things happened to me. And somehow, I think I am a different person now than I was at the start of the year. Perhaps this what they call, 'Maturing'?? Bad things had happened to me but SO many good things had occured as well! I got to play tennis this year for the first time. Right now, I have my own tennis racket (which I respectfully named Brad) and I'm improving with Jen Lee and Priya's help. Haney's wedding boosted my social esteem. It got me into belly-dancing too! The SYF was a great experience, acting in 'Hungry'. I was really bummed I didn't get Guakawakaweena but I got Sarah which was depressing yet it opened so many doors to even more incredible experiences. I guess things really do happen for a reason.

As I look back, I know I have grown. But of course, I'm still a teenager with a LOT more growing to do. And I am very indecisive. I have always wanted to become a writer. It has been my dream since I was in primary one. And I do quite alot of writing. But after such a fruitful year in theater, I have developed quite a passion for it. I love the stage, lights, costume... EVERYTHING!! Yet, I hate to think that my love for writing is dying. 'Cos I love wrting my thoughts down like this but I am not able to complete my stories. Which is completely frustrating! I want to pursue drama but... as my mom says, it isn't a very stable job. Anyway, I'll type out my new year's resolutions now:

My New Year's Resolution
1. Lose more weight. To attain my ideal figure.
2. To go to Australia for Marryatvile Drama Exchange programme
3. To do another musical or Wild Rice production if allowed the chance
4. To pass my Math
5. Make an awesome comedy this year with ATC
6. Improve my Tennis
7. I MUST DO BETTER AT MY GRADES!!!
8. To make new friends in my new class