Nothing but Stress

12:21 AM

It has been forever since I posted something positive in my blog. I just realized this as I was reading all my friend's blogs which had at the very least a combination of good and sad posts. So far, mine have been nothing but negative. But I honestly can't help it. =(( School is so awful. SO AWFUL. There is absolutely NOTHING good about it. Like really.

I tried my best to think of something positive to blog about today just to update this site but all I could think about is the tests which will be happening next week, the pile of readings that never seem to get smaller and the stress of school. It's consuming me. And as a result, I am consuming more. I have been eating my troubles away and thus have been gaining some weight. Which is EXTREMELY BAD. On top of that, I am having MAJOR sleeping problems. It's getting kinda scary. I become very awake after midnight and have major insomnia where I can't really sleep properly. And I only really fall asleep at around 3-4am and then I can't wake up. Like when I am awake, I stay awake for very long and then when I finally fall asleep, it's so deep that I can't even wake up properly.

It's scary.

I once stayed awake for about 22 hours and then on Saturday (when I should be using that day to catch up on my work) I sleep the entire day away. Like literally. I woke up only an hour twice that day, just to eat and then I couldn't even open my eyes long enough to get through the meal.

This is to extreme.

And because of this, I am always exhausted and my mind never rests, worrying about school and all sorts of stuff. The only good thing that happened was meeting up with Diyanah after what felt like AGES! It was so fun!! I missed her so much! But school is crazy so I hardly have time. =(

Another problem is my singapore studies module which I am certain to fail. Simply because it is just intense Singapore history and I have to do alot of memorising and reading which I suck at since they are all names and dates. Plus it's always some weird party and blah blah. I AM SO SCREWED. I dunno how I will ever be able to answer the questions. And I've got e test on it next week. I am so screwed. I wanna freakin' CRY. It's not that I don't try. I am reading all the readings and I attended all the lectures. I just can't absorb all that history info. I honestly CANNOT. I feel so incredibly terrified. This module will pull down my CAP along with Eng Lit which will pull down my CAP as well.

Okay okay okay.

BASICALLY, I do nothing but STRESS 24-7. I don't even have time to be sad about not being able to go for the k-pop night this time round. I am too busy stressing about everything else. Eating badly and having awful awful sleeping habits.

It's getting BAD.

(I wish I was prettier and skinnier and smarter and richer)

She's so gorgeous. It's crazy.

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