I'm in the middle of prelims right now. Everything's a total mess, I gotta admit. And I have this sad, unsettling feeling that I might flunk just about everything, eventhough I truly have been studying. I know people say that if I studied properly then I won't have any real reason to be worried. And that the fact that I'm worried just shows that in fact, I have YET to truly study. But then those people don't really understand how things go down in JC.

Nothing is for certain.

You may THINK you did okay for this paper but then omg, next thing you know, single-digit failure. Then you may THINK you did horrible and then holy crap, out of the blue it's better than you expected. You joust dunno how things will go. But I know I'll fail my math for sure. It was a horrible paper. And I thought I could actually do smth this time since i practiced quite a bit but, hohoho. Doesn't look like it. The paper was killer.

And for some reason I completely forgot that I had to do two case studies in Econs. I got a shock during the paper. It completely slipped my mind that I had to do two. So, I didn't really managed my time well. Plus the case studies were kind of hard. At least, I thought so...

I'm really scared now.

My mum is being super nice to me these few days, making me whatever I want to eat and like totally expecting me to do well and do her proud. Everyone else is so sure I would make it to a university.

See, the thing is... What if I don't?

What if I screw everything up, like I may have done this time with the prelims. Then what? There's no back up plan. All that's left would be to buy a bottle of sleeping pills and swallow every single one of them. Am I right?

I'm just a youtube addict now, trying to watch my worries away. I particularly like Phil D. who is super funny and informative at the same time. He talks about his comments about current events. It beats reading the newspaper so, hell yeah. Recently, Joe Wilson called Obama a liar (which is NOT TRUE. I think Joe Wilson is a loser) and Obama called Kanye West a jackass (which is TRUE. I think Kanye is a loser) for snatching the mike away from Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech.

You guys should watch this. Tres funny!





Now... Back to hitting the books.