The Farmer Dream.

6:47 PM

I know that I'm like the most loser-ish blogger in the world. I mean, I update my blog like once every two months or something. And it's not like I don't have a life to take about or there isn't major news around the world that is worth commenting on. There are alot. But these days it seems like each day has only 10 hours and the weeks consists of 10 days. It's a long torture. I'm so busy yet, I'm so free?? I don't really know how to explain this. It's like there's alot of stuff for me to do but it's not really fun so, it feels like I haven't truly occupied my time. I guess that's the life of a JC kid. I swear, I will never do this to my child. I will go to switzerland and raise sheeps and cows or something. Then, I'll live in the clean country side where my children and play on the home-made sings and climb trees and drink fresh milk everyday. They'll look so hot 'cos (firstly, I married a handsome dude) they won't exposed to such a ridiculous amount of stress. So, their skin would be smooth and hair would be silky. Without the artificial tamperings of hair salons and skin products. The all natural-life, man. That's the way to go.

I'll learn how to sew and make clothes for my family. And my husband would chop wood for the winter. And I'll make HOME MADE bread and soup for supper and we'll sit by the fireplace watching the farmer's channel on TV together as a family. WAHHHHHH!!! I am getting so excited just thinking about it. But then the fact that I am typing this out on the computer is simply the most ironic thing in the world. Rural living is a true dream.

I'm feeling super bummed lately. School is just bumming the shit out of me. There is nothing more annoying than school and the teachers that think that they are the only subject that we are concentrating on and bury us with a RIDICULOUS amount of work. HELLO. I just wish these teachers would take time out of their busy lives to just pause for one second to THINK about the crap that we are going through. I don't understand how they can sleep in peace at night with the guilt of dumping so much work on us with such an unreasonable dateline. The worst thing for me is that I've got tennis training late on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. And to top it all off, I've got friggin' PE on Wednesdays and Fridays. So basically, there is never a day where I am not exhausted to the bone. And when I come home late, I still have that pile of homework to get done by the next day. this is 'cos we've got tutorials several times a week. HOLY SHIT. My mind is whirlling just thinking about this.

But work isn't the only thing that is making me dizzy and short-tempered. My school is really kan-chiong when it comes to exams and uni admissions. It's only february and Ny has already done a dialouge session with representatives of the three local unis along with the student's parents. Crazy or what? And our block tests are next week?? I have no idea why they're so rush-y. It's totally making me worried out of my mind. They were going on and on about how straight As sometimes don't qualify you for certain courses and how limitted the places were and how important your CCAs are and how we must be interviewed.


It was annoying the crap out of me. If straight As don't even qualify you for the courses then why the hell am I studying so hard. I might as well just pack my bags and go to a foreign uni. God. And I was even more panicked when they went on and on and on and on about how CCAs are an essential partof the whole selection process. Immediately, a huge red light started flashing in my head. My CCA is like completely nothing pls. I'm not even gonna be in the A division team 'cos I'm not really that good seeing as I just started last year. I don't hold any important positions or anything. So basically, I'm screwed. Maybe I should've just joined drama that time.

It's too late now.

So, I dunno what I'm gonna do now. There is nothing worse than being 19 'cos you are so close to being a full-fledged adult. All of a sudden everyone's bombarding you with decisions to make and they're such important life-changing decisions. It's so frustrating 'cos how are YOU supposed to know which are the right choices. If I were to follow my heart, I would go to Seoul National University and get a degree in modern languages with majors in theatre as well. But then again, We all know that although now is the time for us to choose, we don't really have much of a choice to choose from. Basically, I can choose whichever local uni I want... Course-wise. Up to parents apparently.

Well, I can't really go on now. With the risk of sounding more whiny than ever before. But I'm just annoyed at the fact that they are making us so anxious, unhappy and depressed SO EARLY in the year. Just the thought of the 10 months ahead is enough to make me want to put a bullet in my head.

Whatever happened to encouragement? Note to NYJC: Try watching a little more Oprah and a little less CNN. Not everything is black and white.

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